July 8, 2013
Sometimes it is difficult to know why things happen. Most people would like to say there is always a lesson to be learned in every situation. There will be times in your life when people disappoint you, and HAVE already done so.
Remember that you are not your parents mistakes. You open your heart again and again to your father--in hopes that things will change, that he will act differently, that he will come to his senses. Until he directly comes to YOU and shows evident good changes, do not approach him or convince yourself things are better. You have been hurt by his words and actions, and the only thing you can do is find peace in your heart so you can move on. You deserve far better and need to remind yourself of the truths of God. Do NOT repeat the negative thoughts your father has told you. Easier said than done, right? But you are the person in control of your own thoughts, and need to break the hurtful cycle of telling yourself you are no good, that you are broken and will never be fixed. God has bigger plans for you. Yes, you deserve a great father that understands, will comfort you, and will see his wrongdoings and will work things out. But you do not have that, so you need to move on and understand that it is NOT because of you. Your father has treated every family member this way, and you need to know that this is his battle that he has to overcome. You cannot change him. Nobody can change someone if the person is unwilling to make changes or see their wrongdoings.
Break free from this negative cycle, so you can focus on beauty. Life gets rough at times but the more you focus on your past, the less likely you will have full healing and be able to enjoy the present. Let go of the bitterness, the anger, the lonely feelings that consume your mind. Do something positive instead of dwelling on what you cannot change. You will be far happier if you just remind yourself of that.
You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You have a lot to offer people and can impact people in a positive way-- That is what brings you joy. Focus on such things. Things that bring a smile to you and others, that encourage, that inspire, and that show love.
You have come a long way in the last few years. You used to be so shy, and would not dare to think of coming up with ideas that require you to be in charge. Something happened in the past year that has made you want to step up. When you are inspired, your anxiety and doubt seem to vanish. Two months ago you also never would have imagined of wanting to be in leadership. Not sure what's going on, but now your heart is showing interest in that area. What an amazing thing! God is working in you and has better, bigger plans for you than you can even imagine! You are an example of change. You can overcome ANYTHING that comes your way. If you can change for the better in just one year, just think of where you will be in 5 years!
Remember that you deserve far better, and you are the one that allows people to treat you a certain way. If you do not hold yourself up to higher standards or respect, others will trample you and take advantage. *You is smart, You is kind. You is important* Believe it!
-Your Former Self
*This morning I was surfing around my favorite blogger sites. One of my favorite writers is "Me to the Power of We" . She had a title called "Love Letter to Self". Before I could read it, I jumped on my blog and started writing a love letter to myself. After having such a tough week and feeling like there was no happiness in sight, I found this writing prompt to be very comforting.