Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Oh boy! I was gone for a long time...

Hello, Friends!

I took a pretty long break from the blogging world. It's tough to keep up with it on a daily basis, and find motivation to write about interesting topics. I have come to the point now that I will only write about something that touches my heart. Otherwise, it's a struggle to be authentic and the post will come out mediocre. I don't want that.

There has been A LOT of good things happening in my life these last few months. For most of you that have followed my blog or know me personally, you know about my struggle with anxiety and depression. There were a lot of things contributing to my anxiety that I needed to get a handle on. It was starting to become easier to be mad and have a woe-is-me attitude.

Now there is joy in the journey. These last few months I surrounded myself with support groups, counseling, new friends, and people I can trust. My journey is not yet over, and I will continue to better myself. I have learned more about myself these last few months than the 27 years of my life so far.  Today I am thanking God for my pain. If I did not go through the hardships of not having a loving father, of failing at being a first-time teacher,  experiencing having hardly any close friends and feeling lonely, I would not be where I am today. Today I am happy that those things happened because it forced me to reach out. As a result of reaching out and plugging myself into numerous groups, I have made a great group of friends, I have FINALLY figured out that getting approval and acceptance from others is not what matters, and I have worked hard on being positive.  I have been given MORE than I could have ever imagined. I pray to God to allow my hurts and disappointments to not be in vain. To allow my hurts to reach other people. Maybe there is someone struggling with something similar and needs encouragement. To go through all of this is shaping me into the person I was meant to be. When I quit teaching, I felt mediocre. To be a mom made me proud and happy, but I always felt like beyond mommyhood there was something more. I can be a mom, a wife, a friend, and still have more to give. Still not quite sure what the whole plan is or where I am headed, but the journey is exciting now. There is not as much fear taking hold of me and holding me back. Someone once said to me "the puddin' ain't set yet". We cannot see the entire picture right now. Little by little we might notice our calling or niche in life. Sometimes I think as we go through seasons of life our niche can change. I always thought being a teacher was the ONLY thing God wanted me to do. Boy, was I wrong. There is a lot more that fulfills me and gives me purpose. God has a big plan for each of our lives. We just need to be willing to experience the hardships so we can be refined and reach our full potential.

We go through what we go through to help others go thorough what we went through. - Kathe Wunnenburg

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