After a few days of stewing over my feelings and thoughts, I came to the conclusion that these are really good questions! I live my life thinking that I have all the time in the world to postpone thinking about such topics. And I am sure most of you do too.
At my funeral, I would love to think that my husband would say such things as:
"My wife was the one and only love of my life. She was the peanut butter to my jelly. Life will not be the same because she was my best friend. I loved her sense of curiosity, and love for life. There was not a day that went by where she didn't want to fill another person's life with joy. The most important thing was that she brought joy to my life and my son's life. She made us feel like we were the most important people in her life and she showed that. We took this life on together. Elizabeth was always understanding and never doubted us as a couple. If anything, our marriage was the #1 thing that she worked hard on and was her priority. She took her wedding vows seriously and lived up to them (beyond what was expected). Elizabeth was the most graceful, loving, and sweetest person I knew. Her love for God was unwavering and she looked to God in everything she did. I will miss her every day of my remaining days."
Okay.... so that was difficult to write and feels like I just pumped myself up to look like a saint. Honestly though, if my husband says that I honored our vows and he will miss me every day of his life then that is all that I wish for. A friend of mine had mentioned that she thinks her husband would say about her at her funeral: "She was really good at paying the bills and doing her own thing. I didn't feel like I really knew her." That was a major wake up call to do things differently. She did not want to have a mediocre marriage and have her husband resenting her.
I want to be known as the person that did not take life for granted, and did not put our marriage on the backburner. It is so easy to think that we have all the time in the world to get to the important things in life.... maybe we have 20 years, 50 years left, or maybe tomorrow everything can unexpectedly change. We do not know. Therefore, we need to live every minute of our days with purpose and to let our loved ones know they are important to us.
When I did this assignment, it was difficult to foresee the impact it would have on me. Live with every moment with the end in sight. The things I would want my husband to say about me at my funeral, I need to be putting into practice RIGHT NOW.
How can I show my love for life? How can I bring joy to others? What are ways I can live up to my vows? How can I be an example to my family with my love for God? Those are the things I need to put into practice.
What is one thing you can do today to show your spouse that your marriage is #1 priority?