“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” -Louis de Bernieres, Captain Corelli's Mandolin
This was one of our wedding quotes that is dear to my heart. When it was carefully picked out for our wedding, it had to meaningful and something that would remind me what truly matters. Marriage can be a roller coaster. You have ups, downs, loops all around. There are those stories of couples losing their spark and wondering what happened to their marriage. Although the butterflies in your stomach and the sparkle in your eyes may have vanished, the one thing that is constant is the roots that you share together.
My husband and I love each other dearly. When we first got married 5 years ago life wanted to see what we were made of.... Were we in it for good? Were we just gonna be mediocre? Were we going to hold that spark?
The first week of being married, Dale and I moved to Texas for a job opportunity. Being a new wife and having our first place was a dream come true. The first month was about turning our apartment into a home. We even made friends with a couple that lived down the street. A few others in the complex were friends with Dale at work so I was already brought into a community of friends (Dale had moved there a year before us getting married so he already knew some people). So a month after moving to Texas, Dale lost his job. We had no money, no sense of structure, and I was hit hard with reality. That first week jobless, we realized we only had loose change to pay for a loaf of bread. Not joking. So the fun beginning to our marriage was now, "how the heck are we gonna survive?!" We were faced with either taking it out on each other or teaming up. My instincts were to become Dale's sidekick and figure out a game plan. The in-laws had to pay for a U-haul and bring our butts back to Arizona. We lived with Dale's parents for about a month before we could get back out on our own. This is just an example of the hardballs life throws at you in marriage. We stuck together, we supported each other, we cried together, talked together, worked together. And that's always going to be our focus.
The one thing I will say is, "Dang, it's hard to have quality time together when you have a toddler (and now my mom lives in our house...enough said)." Finding the quality time is a joke right now. This is what we are struggling with as a married couple. In the midst of thinking about forcing ourselves to make time for date nights again, I came across the sweetest idea in the world from Today's Letters blog. Read it! Every married couple should try this!
A daughter shared a story of how her parents have lasted 50 years together and what made their love stronger. Their story describes an old metal box....
Every time they made love they would put a dollar in their box. The goal was that when they reached their 50th anniversary they would use that money for a trip to Hawaii. They just reached 50 years and made that trip! I am still crying at this while typing. It's not about "woo hoo we get to go on vacation!" that I'm crying about, but the fact that you can sense the love that was put into this.
Trying to figure out meaningful ways to have quality time with my husband and we are going to join the bandwagon. We have an old, wooden box that I presented to Dale when we were dating (pictured above) that we will be using. So along with this idea we have made a pact to make date nights happen again! I liked how the blogger from Today's Letters put it, "Focus on quality, not quantity." And of course my husband, the joker and charming fellow he is, comments with "50 years from now there will only be $2 in that box!" lol. Good point, dear husband, good point.... ;) He just makes me laugh.
*So I tried to make this as discreet as possible. I never talk about intimacy so openly but hopefully this was done in an appropriate manner :) I would also LOVE to hear any sweet love stories or marriages, or ideas on how to spice up a marriage or date ideas!